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What Connects Us

In a dating or engaged relationship, there are 3 “ego states” operating all at once: the parent (what you’ve been taught), the child (what you have felt) and the adult (what you have learned). We usually relate to one another on each of those levels: as the parent – do we have similar values and beliefs about the world; as the child – do we have fun together, are we attracted to each other; as an adult – do we see each other as smart, are we good at solving problems together? 

Now you may be thinking that if you find the “one” who matches you perfectly according to the all 3 of the ego states, you have the perfect relationship, but if Christ is not at the center of your relationship it is not as “perfect” as you may think. Oftentimes opposites attract – you may be the spender, but he or she may be fiscally responsible. It’s those differences that help to balance out the relationship. But the one constant that will keep/hold a relationship together is Christ. This will be especially important once you enter into marriage, because a marriage takes three – a husband, a wife and Christ!

BY KHRISTIE HUGHES